mockery

jeffdixon @ 2009-12-06T09:57:00

2009-12-06T17:57:14Z

There are pop-up ads on Live Journal now. A sign of decay.

jeffdixon @ 2009-11-17T18:32:00

2009-11-18T02:32:41Z

I wrote something about seeing Steve Martin a few weeks ago. It's a few pages long so peek under here for it.

Steve Martin

When I was a young man, a mere boy, I spent many hours in the living room seemingly alone. I say seemingly because I had a companion of sorts. He wasn’t in the room with me, not in the usual sense, but he was there. It seems strange to me now, but all he had to do was keep repeating the same jokes and, time and again, he could make me laugh. This was me sitting in the living room playing my Steve Martin records over and over.

I played them so much I had them memorized in their entirety. Even today, 31 years later, I can still tell many of the jokes. I may not be able to recite the albums by sheer rote anymore, but it’s all still there in my head.

At one point we had no record player in the house. My Mother took me with her to her dance studio and, when classes were finished, we sat on the hardwood floor in the middle of the studio. She put my Steve Martin record on the little stand-alone mono turntable that unfolded like a suitcase and had a built-in speaker. We listed to “Comedy is not Pretty” together. There is a banjo song called “Drop Thumb Medley” on the record. My Mother started to pick the needle up and I asked her what she was doing. She said he was going to play the banjo for a while and didn’t think I would be interested. I asked her to let it play. She did, and we sat there listening to the banjo music.

One Thanksgiving my cousins, Lance and Todd, came over for a family gathering. I told them I had a record with a dirty word on it. We got real close to the speakers and I turned it down low so that our parents in the next room couldn’t hear it. Martin proceeded to tell about how his girlfriend was taking singing lessons and her 84 year old coach wanted her to sing from her diaphragm. I didn’t have any idea what made it dirty but I could tell from the telling that it was somehow blue. My mom came in the room while we were hunkered down at the speakers, just in time to hear Martin say, “Diaphragm”. Of all the lousy timing. We must have looked guilty as hell. I had listened to the record over and over and not once concerned myself with the dirty aspect of the joke. I had no idea what it meant anyway. But when my cousins were there I decided to make a big point of it by turning it into a clandestine activity requiring us to operate with stealth. It wasn’t until years later that I even understood the joke. At the time I probably wanted either to appear knowing or I secretly hoped that my cousins would explain it to me.

I remember being in Boy Scout Troop 444. It seemed like a much tougher troop than troop 414, which eventually formed closer to my house, and contained neighborhood boys I knew. But one day at a Boy Scout Troop 444 meeting, full of tough-seeming boys I hardly knew, I made a reference to a Steve Martin joke. Someone nearby asked what was going on, thus drawing attention to our conversation. I replied, “Oh nothing. It’s just something on a dumb Steve Martin record.” I felt the need to call it dumb. If people discovered I liked Steve Martin I might find out they think he’s a fool, thereby making me a fool. To my surprise, a boy named Mike Lewis shot back with anger, “It is not a dumb record!” Making me feel foolish anyway.

Once, at grandma D’s house, probably Christmas or Thanksgiving, someone suddenly ran into the kitchen to tell me that Steve Martin was on TV doing “King Tut.” Back in the days before VCRs, something like this was a big deal, especially to me. I ran in there and watched it. I remember Grandma D saying, “I like the way he moves”. Someone I knew, someone I admired, had just expressed approval of Steve Martin. My thoughts were validated by an adult.

Steve Martin walked away from stand-up when he was on top. In his autobiography he states that he wanted to tell jokes with no punch lines. Somehow this made him the most famous stand-up comic in the world. However, since he walked away from the profession when I was only a kid, I would never have the chance to see him perform. I could, however, see “The Jerk”, and I did, over and over on HBO. But then something happened. The years went on. Time does not stop for boys just because they want to go on listening to Steve Martin records forever. The time alone in the living room with Steve was replaced by time in my own room, with my own record player, listening to AC/DC and playing guitar. I never considered playing the banjo. I might have though, if Angus Young had played it. Besides, Steve Martin stopped being so silly, or maybe, he started seeming silly to me. I remember debating with our neighbor, Sara Scallorn, whether or not people would think there was something wrong with him because of his childish antics. Years later there was a great television show called “Freaks and Geeks” in which the main geek manages to astound himself by getting a date. He takes her to see “The Jerk”. She complains that the movie isn’t funny. It’s about a thirty year old man acting like he’s five. The poor kid is crushed. The movie is spoiled.

As I grew older I started to be less and less amused by wild antics of adult men in the movies. I hated Jim Carrey when he was on top. I hated Adam Sandler. My friends accused me of having no sense of humor. An accusation I assert is wildly untrue. (They were just jealous that I suffered from existentialism, thereby making me wiser). I came to realize that; maybe, I was holding all these actors (Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell) up to my childhood idolization of Steve Martin. Compared to that they were cardboard cutouts. They stood no chance. Or, perhaps, like Paul Simon said, "Get these mutts away from me. I don't find this stuff amusing anymore." However, I thought "Talladega Nights" was hilarious. My friends seem to be bothered more than me by my lack of laughter at television and movies. Maybe it's them that really have the problem.

And then…I saw that Steve Martin was coming to Seattle on a banjo tour. I took my wife and we met my friend Margaret and her husband there. I was under the impression that he was doing strictly music. And then lo, he came out onstage and started telling jokes. He told jokes between every song. I laughed at all of them. I do have a sense of humor. I knew it. My friends really are just jealous that I have deep existential thoughts that make me wise.

Steve Martin has the most incredible ease. It's impossible to tell that he hasn't performed onstage, at least regularly, in decades. There were a few sound problems at first. The instrumentation was either not mixed well or our position to the right of center-stage skewed our sonic perception. Either way it was difficult to discern the instruments and make out the melody. This was a temporary problem however and cleared up after a few numbers. When Steve Martin first came out and started in with a banjo number it sounded tinny and hallow. I know that banjos aren't the most resonant instrument but it was excessive. This too seemed to change as far as I was concerned and was corrected shortly. The man at the mixing board started earning his pay.

Steve didn't sing much. He decleared that others with better voices should do that. He stepped up to the microphone plenty of times though. He sang particular parts of songs and lead a few times. He made his voice fit the show quite well. The music was all good and played by gentlemen who had mastered their instruments. The fiddle player was a genius. I urge you to seek out Steve Martin and the Deep Canyon Rangers playing "Orange Blossom Special" on youtube. The fiddle player was snapping horse hair left and right. By the time the song was over he needed a new bow.

The band was keen on comedy too and joined Steve for jokes and gags. Steve said the bass player's instrument doubled as a refrigerator. A little later Steve said he was taking a break (which was really an excuse to let the Deep Canyon Rangers play a few of their own songs). He turned and asked the bass player if he had a beer. The bass player came to the front and wheeled his instrument around. He lifted a panel and, no kidding, pulled a bottle of beer out of the back of the bass. After a few songs Steve stumbled back onto the stage, pretending to be drunk, and complimented the band. Then stumbled off again. The Deep Canyon Rangers sang a beautiful acapella song about not wanting to sit still because they were in heaven and wanted to look around. It isn't unusual for bluegrass to have Christian influences. Martin came back onstage and said, "I was just thinking about how religious people have all this art and music. Athiests basically have nothing...(laughter)...Until now!" And he produced sheets of paper and handed them to the band who all pretended like they were seeing them for the first time. Then they all did an acapella number with Steve about being athiests.

The band finished a song and Steve introduced a number as, “A classic bluegrass song.” And that's when I heard it. I didn’t know what it was for a second. It made no sense for a fraction of a moment. But as the musical notes made their way through axons and neuropathways, finding their way throughout my cortex to be deciphered, a synapse occurred. It took a moment for it to happen. My brain brought up information that was lodged in there from a Christmas holiday at Grandma D’s house where I rushed into the living room from the kitchen. I discovered the notes sounded out a melody that was distinctly Egyptian. This wasn’t classic bluegrass; this was “King Tut”. I was transfixed. This was it! This was truly something I never would have dreamed I would witness.

I remember thinking how magnificent it was that Steve Martin was onstage right in front of me (we were on row 5) telling jokes. I recalled sitting on the floor of my mother’s dance studio asking her to let the record keep going when the album came to a banjo number. Here I had it all right in front of me, live. Steve was older, though his hair was the same color (actually, it’s more white than grey now). His antics were generally gone. There was no arrow through his head as he played. He didn’t get happy feet. He’s not 30 and acting like a five year old. And yet…

As I sat there watching “king Tut”, I saw something extraordinary. . It only lasted a second. In a brief moment of fun that Steve was having with his bandmates he assumed the Egyptian pose. He, ever so fleetingly, moved like an Egyptian. I could almost hear my Grandmother comment at the end, “I like the way he moves.” This time, however, I needn’t fear the potential repercussions of Troop 444. I just smiled. Smiled and laughed.

There were many reasons to enjoy the show. There was fine music by great players, fine comedy, and fine company. And for me there was a bonus. A childhood dream came true.

MR. KITE

2009-10-11T06:57:06Z

"Lennon was by nature, and later on principle, distrustful of objective art (i.e. anything that didn't directly concern himself). Unable to appreciate the pleasure his imagination brought to others, he fashioned things like this with fluent ease only to reject them for having entailed none of the pain by which he measured creative authenticity . A spontaneous creation of its author's playful hedonism, BEING FOR THE BENEFIT OF MR. KITE! was repudiated by the puritan in him." --Revolution in the Head

There are things in here written somewhere between the lines that, to me, bespeak the difference between "UP" and "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs".

jeffdixon @ 2009-10-10T22:43:00

2009-10-11T05:51:59Z

I have terribly conflicting thoughts. I know what's real. I think it will come out, at least in part, in something. I think some of these ideas about being more than one person will be illustrated in my L piece. It might never see light, but that won't really matter. Will it? Is the measure of success really mass appreciation (because that isn't happening). Does failure to garner mass appreciation result in the claim that art and ideas are not for the masses? Because, my friend, one might also suck. Plus let's not forget lack of effort. Is it all rationalizing? Does the term even mean anything? Or, is compromise necessary to make things palatable? Certainly this is true, otherwise, like Inland Empire, it's rendered virtually meaningless. Inscrutable to the last.

but I digress. this was about me. You can't shroud it in vagueries. In a year even the originator will look at it, puzzled. What's the line?

Unforgiven

2009-09-22T06:31:01Z

I picked up the bluray of Unforgiven for 9 bucks. Good deal, great movie. Watched it tonight. Remarkable picture. Remarkable moving picture.

I read the news today, oh boy

2009-09-14T06:51:16Z

Last night I was lying in bed, just a-sleepin, when I was awoken by a loud noise. I came out of sleep with a start, alert to a problem. I realized quickly that it was Leslie that had come in the door, but something was wrong. She never comes in so loudly. I'm not sure exactly what I did. I got out of bed and reached for clothes, thinking, "Why am I reaching for clothes if there's someone in here?" I was calmed by somehow knowing it was Leslie. She must have spoken.

She came in the bedroom and told me it was ok, but that she had pulled up, parked the car, and walked to the stairs. When she go there she could hear someone in the area. Remember, this is 3:30 am. She started going up the stairs and this person started running at her. She said she barely got into the apartment before they got to her. That's why her entry was so loud.

I asked her if I could do anything and she said she was calling the police. While she was on the phone to 911 I thought about going out the front door but thought better of it. Instead I stepped out onto the back balcony. I saw a guy walking down the street who resembled the description she was giving the operator. Then Leslie saw him out the window.

He was walking toward a car that was right below our balcony. I made no effort to hide myself and just stood there looking at him. There was something about this that just didn't add up. The guy was walking to the car like there was nothing odd going on. It couldn't be the guy who chased Leslie up the stairs. EIther it wasn't him, or he was completely insane and had no thought of getting caught. That's when we noticed what he was carrying.

He had, in his right arm, a stack of newspapers that he was delivering. I walked back inside and went to the front door and opened it. Sure enough our neighbor's morning papers were sitting at their doorsteps. This guy wasn't a lunatic, he was bounding up the stairs to deliver newspapers.

Mono Morphin Beatle Records

2009-09-14T06:26:58Z

This was a reply to Vince, but I put it here:

My system isn't good enough to make major definitive judgements. I hear more things than I did before. Some things are clearer. I haven't done an A/B comparison with the 87 issues, and probably never will. I did once directly compare the UK Pepper mono vinyl to the 87 CD. Clearly the vinyl was better, even Leslie could hear the sonic difference plain as day.

I seem to remember people saying that, for the mono, they did nothing to clean up the tape noise, or at least very little. Haven't listened to Help! yet. I won't argue with you that it's a little cloudy. Yet, I will say that I do hear differences. Some things are easier to hear.

I've always despised the stereo mixes with the hard pans so the mono is welcome. There are the historic reasons too. Nevertheless I have the stereo box on the way. At home the hard pans aren't as hard to take (with headphones they drive me crazy) and I've read very good things about the clarity. No one claims the mono has substantial increased clarity, but I've noticed some in places. Rain sounds miles better. The vocal harmonies are more distinctive on Nowhere Man and the like.

I rocked out to Please Please Me. Probably too loud for our apt. The vocal on Twist and Shout was great. There is a falsetto scream, Paul doubtlessly, that come through clearer than I've ever heard it before.

An ipod isn't the place to study these discs, but I put Revolver on there for a jog today. Thank goodness I can delete the stereo version. Stereo Taxman is terrible with headphones.

jeffdixon @ 2009-09-13T00:27:00

2009-09-13T08:17:03Z

Leslie's sister got married in Ithaca last week, which is why we went there. My wedding gift was pretty much to help out with all the wedding set-up. I was told very early on that I would be taking pictures since they hired no photographer. I had a suspicion that this was really just kind of a way to give me something to do and make me feel included. This was totally unnecessary. I would have had no problem just sitting there. I do admit that I appreciated the gesture. Also, who knows. Maybe they really did want me to take pictures. Somehow though, I find this a little superfluous since there were a dozen people there with digital SLRs. My camera, nice as it is, is no digital SLR. It's a Canon G10.

For the actual ceremony I arrived with about 2 minutes to set up a tripod and videocamera. I barely made it and the video has a few bouncy parts because of it. I would have loved to have had a few more minutes. With all those people taking pictures with $1000 cameras I just shot video. And really, there's no time to do both.

So get this.

I arrive and ask where I am supposed to sit. I'm told to take a seat in the front in the reserved section so I can shoot video. Lo, there is someone in the spot already. They tell me to tell her to move. Ok, easy enough. I go over there and notice that the person I am supposed to have move over a spot, to a less video-friendly spot, mind you, is sporting a video camera 3 times the size of mine. I don't know if that means anything, but it sure looked like a better camera than mine. Well, a job's a job. I have my directive. I chat with the camera-lady for a few minutes and she has no problem moving aside.  I tell her I think her camera is probably much better than mine and she responds by saying, "But you're a professional."

Very sweet thing to say, but totally untrue. I laugh and say, "No I'm not." However, I have my directive, and nothing will keep me from accomplishing my duty. I set my tripod up and slam the camera into place just in time for the 4 piece string group to start up and the party to begin strolling toward us all.

It went just fine. There are a few rough spots. My camera had a small amount of trouble focusing on close-ups that weren't perfectly centered. A better camera with manual focusing would fix that. But I don't own that. The weirdest part was, since I needed different angles at different times, I had to move to better vantage points. This meant I just waltzed in front of the audience and, well, pretty much just got in everybody's way. Bless all their good hearts, no one complained or shoved me out of the way. Ever seen an old lady at a wedding?  They can get nasty if they feel they don't have a good view. Worse yet, get between some old bitty and the Queen of England and you'll wind up with a brolly on your head.

So I moved some chairs and tables, big deal. The real gift is this video I put together. The other person with a video camera had the bright idea to get the bride and groom to dance outside of the tent where there was grass and sunshine. I shot that, though, alas, I was out of discs and had to use my G10. No matter.  It looks ok. No worse than the stuff I got with the DVD recorder camera. By gum, I had my directive. I owe a debt of gratitude to the fine lady who didn't laugh at my camera equipment, allowed be so graciously to do my thing, and who set up the lawn dance.

This whole experience was rather cool. But I don't think I have any interest in doing it for money. I suspect my day job pays better and is more steady. Mostly I'm happy to have been able to do it for people that I care about. I do sort of wish I had the other video person's footage. But they live too far away.

I am keenly aware of the limitations of my camera. I wish I had a better one for my videos.

I did take one shot of the bride and groom that no one else got.  Everyone was taking pictures from the front, of course. I asked everyone to move for a minute. Which meant asking 10 people with cameras to get out of the shot, so I could shoot the bride and groom from behind. You see, there was a marvelous vista in that direction that everyone was ignoring.  A few seemed a little annoyed but Paula, the bride, was on my side and agreed that everyone should move. I used it as the last image in the video and zoom from far away to close up on their faces. The people you see still stting there are less obtrusive in the final video, mostly because of the zooming. It's a giant picture, so the zooming doesn't suffer the effects of digital zoom.

Alright, Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.

That's all much more information than anyone needs.

jeffdixon @ 2009-09-09T22:00:00

2009-09-10T05:29:53Z

I finished Foucault's Pendulum on the plane back from Ithaca. I guess the ipod touch hasn't totally ruined me for reading on planes. When I read the last page I closed the book and turned to Leslie saying, "I finished Foucault's Pendulum and now I'm going to watch South Park." By the way, Jayna, I should have mentioned on Facebook that South Park makes me laugh consistently. I laugh at the gags just as much as the connection they usually make to a bigger social issue. Like people sitting around talking about religion with pieces of shit coming out of their mouths. Or head lice worrying about their impact on their environment. Those guys are genuises. And they do it over and over.

Stop reading if you ever want to read Foucault's Pendulum.

The book means that there are connections everywhere that we make. Everything is connected to everything and it is up to each of us to make those connections. It is also up to each of us to decide what those connections mean. The gigantic overarching mystery of the book is that the secret to life is the secret to life. There is no answer, at least no knowable answer, but our seeking the answer is the drive that sustains us.

Eco has a way of expressing various thoughts and philosophies that I like, both his way and the actual thoughts and philosophies, that is. Foucault's Pendulum wasn't nearly as entertaining as The Name of the Rose, but it was rich in other ways. The Name of the Rose whas rich in other ways as well. There is a book that combines entertainment and thought. Foucault's Pendulum is chock full of thought, but it lacks a little bit of entertainment. When writing a book about the secret of life, should one really jape? Interestingly, that very question is addressed.

I read the Da Vinci Code and marveled at it. It was great plane reading. Chapters 2 pages long, easy, a style that begs you to turn the page. I submit that if circumstances are perfect I'll read the next Dan Brown book. That means it has to have decent reviews, from reputable sources, mind you. It has to be a present that I recieve in the airport on my way somewhere. I have to have forgotten to to bring anything else to read. And I have to be too tired to read anything consequential. Or maybe I'll do it on a whim. I've put myself at the mercy of pop culture lit twice with the execrable Hannibal and the wildly amusing Da Vinci Code. I could do it again.

For now I have a slew of new Beatles books to read. Among other things. Sooner or later my subscription to Rolling Stone magazine should kick in. I haven't had a magazine subscription since Psychology Today when I was a teenager. And before that, Ranger Rick.

jeffdixon @ 2009-08-24T12:13:00

2009-08-24T20:04:45Z

Leslie and I drove up to the North Cascades. We did a day hike to Hidden Lake on Saturday.

There is a lookout above all this perched on top of a hill. Pretty impressive views from up there. See the structure on top.

We hiked back down and got in the truck to drive to Sahale Arm. We got to the parking lot at dark and slept in the bed of the truck. Somewhat oddly, we set the tent up in the bed of the truck so we would have some kind of a shelter. This may have been totally unnecessary but it helped keep us warm anyway. On Sunday morning we had some huckleberries that we picked off the mountain the day before and began our hike up to Sahale Arm.

We were both rather bowled over by the beauty of this place. Take for instance the view from Cascade Pass:

To say nothing of the view from the Arm itself:

And who doesn't like a good marmot picture?

Or a grouse?

Or Leslie contemplating the world?

Or a marmot contemplating the world?

Or simply having lunch

A few parting shots

jeffdixon @ 2009-08-20T23:44:00

2009-08-21T06:48:32Z

I was cleaning up a room the other day and putting a dressing on the site that we used for the procedure. The patient was a little talkative, probably still a little loopy from fentanyl and versed. He told me, in a very calm way, that he was hoping to hang on for three more years. He said that if he could do that then he would be able to see to it that his 18 year old son, who has Down's Syndrome, gets put into a good home. That was his reason for staying alive, he told me. I said that was the best reason there was.

When he left the room I took some trash out and almost came to tears out in the hallway where no one could see me.

Consequences, more or less

2009-08-17T02:57:10Z

On the last visit to Austin I spent a few hours keeping Vince awake and jamming. I wanted to walk away with something so I pressed him to record. It was just a riff with a sort of 12 bar blues structure that I played a number of times while vince played drums. Hell, I made it up in 5 minutes. See, he had a guitar with a whammy bar. I don't have one of those, so, being as how it was in my hands, I utilized it. The riff was an excuse to use the whammy to begin every verse, more or less. What's one whammy effect, more or less?

Vince asked what sounds I wanted to add and named a few. Generally stuff he had laying around. He mentioned chanting at one point and that's what I went for. It was just la la la la la, pretty common in pop music. We laid down a few of those and they became the chorus. What's one la la la la la, more or less?

It got late and Vince was yawning so it became time to leave. He generously mixed it down a little and, I think, re-recorded his la la la la las. Then he sent me the file. I spent a few sessions tinkering with it. The thing still had no real lyrics. We rambled around with lyrics dabbling with various highway numbers and colors but, ultimately, that proved to not energize me. The only line from that night I kept was, "She said, 'Drop dead.'" But what's one lyric, more or less?

I suppose I'm done with it now. It's up on myspace and sounds a bit tinny and garagey. Well, as garagey as something with a fair number of overdubs can be. There aren't that many. What's one overdub, more or less? The song should play immediately on myspace.

Person of Consequence

I have a dentist appointment coming up in two weeks. What's one dentist, more or less?

Lyrics:

The commotion was indescribable

Finding that the Spaniard now stood silent and reserved

We’ll drink to the health of the absent

That was how it was, they argued me dumb

Dealing with the miracle of the third egg

She said, “Drop dead,” Singing.

LA LA LA LA LA

Yuh wan me t take a tree n beat yuh til yuh talk?

Looks like a bullet hole to me

Aw ma, it’s just a catalog

That bird is in the scum and dying she is safely married crying

Feathers are all wet and dirty, studied by girls of thirteen

She said, “Drop dead,” Singing.

LA LA L A LA LA

The meaning of this uproar

A flesh and blood captive angel

It’s a wonder she didn’t go mad

She said, “Drop dead,” Singing.

LA LA LA LA LA

Listen honey you’re just a virgin

If you’re so smart why ain’t you rich?

Screw your eyes shut let out a scream

To hell with the handkerchief

Among other things dirges will ring

In my ears forever

She said, “Drop dead,” Singing.

LA LA LA L A LA

The deserted Person of Consequence made a gesture with her hand

A familiar voice at his elbow startled him

“You know sweet damn-all! I ask you once more do they wear wings?

Are they singing?”

LA LA LA LA LA

jeffdixon @ 2009-08-15T20:41:00

2009-08-16T03:43:09Z

sometimes this is just the dumbest fucking type of crap i've ever participated in. other times, not. either way it's dilute.

jeffdixon @ 2009-08-04T20:46:00

2009-08-05T03:48:25Z

There's some pretty good Thai food in Fremont for a decent price. We've been there several times now. $8.50 for Pad Thai. Don't know the name of the place. It's a blue building. Not that anyone who reads this will ever go there. I just have nothing to say.

morsel.

Beach Video

2009-08-02T03:51:20Z

Youtube has some new sophisticated system that can recognize songs that are copyrighted. I think it only applies to music associated with certain publishers. At any rate I can't post this there because it recognizes the music. So far it's ok at some other sites.

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jeffdixon @ 2009-07-30T18:41:00

2009-07-31T02:14:10Z

I had to bury a kitten. I don't remember who I was with but I was digging in the earth with a trowel. We were burying it on a hill in the yard cattycorner to my parents house on Matagorda and Deerfield. The guy who used to live there worked for the phone company. I dug down and came to a layer of white stones. Below that was a layer of dark stones that were very smooth.  It seemed a little strange that the stones were in these practically perfect layers. I think I hit a little clay at this point but it wasn't very thick. Then a strange thing happened. A noise seemed to come from inside the earth. It sounded like grunting. I fiddled with the earth a little with the trowel and the sound came again. It crossed my mind to hang up burying this kitten, at least here, but, come now, let's not be ridiculous. So I plunged the trowel straight down into the earth and stabbed around. I was sort of laughing about it, but a little nervous. Then, unmistakabley, there issued a noise from the ground. There was something down there and it was coming out. I looked at the person with me and we just ran. We ran straight to my parents house at 1810 Matagorda and got down on the floor. I peeked up to look out the kitchen window. There, standing on the edge of the yard looking away from us, was a living statue from Notre Dame.  The Chimera stood there, waiting. If I had to use one word to describe it, that word would be intense. He stood there absolutely focused.

Several things were terrifying about this. I had no idea what this meant. I had no idea what it wanted. I had no idea if it was angry. I knew hardly anything. But I did know one thing. I knew that this was something that had never happened anywhere before. No one, anywhere, would have any idea what to do or what to expect. This situation was a complete unknown. The most frightening thing, however, was that my mother and nephew were in a pick-up truck in the driveway of the house where the creature had awakened.  I don't know exactly when they came on the scene, but there were there. They must not have had any time to run, or they thougth it safer just to get in that truck. But now they were stuck. I could see them both in the front seat, facing each other.  Mom was facing forward and Zack was practically sitting in her lap facing her. They were crying and, from what it looked like, saying the things people say when they know they are uttering their last words. It was horrifying to see. Still, the Chimera just stood there, intense. Was he waiting???? If so, for what?

The feeling I had was so awful I had to disregard it. It was my fault this happened. Whatever came of this was my fault. But was it, really?  Could I really blame myself for this?  No one, ever, could have predicted this. Blaming myself was punishment that I didn't really deserve. Yet, it was still all my fault.

I'll never know what my next action would have been. I woke up at this point. I can only hope I would have tried to save my family, even if it meant death for me.

Care Bears on Fire

2009-07-24T03:48:14Z

While my Dad and Nephew were here we were riding around in my truck out in the mountains. The satellite radio worked out there, with a few exceptions, and we were listening to Little Steven's Underground Garage. I'm glad Vince talked about that station . It made me give it a good listen and I like it. I've heard some cool stuff on there.

While we were riding around a song came on in which the chorus had some words and then "nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya". It was a quiet moment and I said the name of the band was "Care Bears", which is all that was visible on the truncated display. Zack said, "And part of the chorus is, "nya nya nya nya nya".

Later on the same song played again. We decided we liked it. It is a punk rocky tune with female vocals. It's a vibrant, energetic song.

When I got home I looked the song up and discovered that the full name of the band was "Care Bears on Fire". Then, to my horror, I discovered the band was a three piece made up of two 13 year olds and a 15 year old, all girls. Suddenly, the "nya nya nya" chorus wasn't a jokey, I-don't-give-a-fuck-what-the-world-thinks-of-me, punk-rock attitude so much anymore. Now it was a 13 year old who might be playing hide-and-seek.

A few days went by and I softened on the young ladies. In fact, I went out and actually paid for the CD, the whole thing. I just hope to heaven that Disney doesn't pick them up and try to make them stars. I like them as they are, kids who like to rock like kids. Say what you want people, I don't give a fuck what the world thinks of me.

Check em out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kLZ3G2qt8s

STP is Tomorrow

2009-07-11T00:02:39Z

Tomorrow morning I leave for a 206 mile ride to Portland. It's a two day ride that stops in Centralia for the night. Luckily, and amazingly, I have a room in Centralia. It's a small town. The ride is capped at 10,000 people and it is sold out. Over 7,000 of them are staying in Centralia. Many stay in tents. The rest do the ride in one day. Loonies.

I'm also sleeping in Portland, but being a big town it wasn't as hard to get a room. Better not lose my reservations.

jeffdixon @ 2009-07-10T16:52:00

2009-07-10T23:56:59Z

I've decided to become a legatarian and eat only the legs of animals.

I asked people yesterday if they have ever drank water by squeezing out a dirty sponge.

jeffdixon @ 2009-07-04T00:08:00

2009-07-04T07:21:21Z

Went into work for about 4 hours today, which isn't too bad. Today is a holiday workwise. Since the 4th is on a Saturday they gave us Friday off. But somebody has to cover the call so I'm on Fri, Sat, and Sun. I just thought of today as a regular workday which makes taking call seem like a regular weekend. Sure I was on call today, but normally I would be there for 10 hours and I only had to be there for 4. Makes it seem not so bad. Plus I got paid extra for it. That's the spin we need.

I watched "Changeling" tonight and had some Ben and Jerry's Magic Brownie ice cream. They were both about the same. Good, but nothing terribly special. I won't get the ice cream flavor again and I don't have much to say about the picture. I thought the courtroom drama stuff was largely unnecessary. I didn't care about the retribution of the cops. Eastwood does great things with characters and their emotions. The courtroom stuff edged that out to make room for extraneous material. Jolie was pretty damn good in it. The movie could have been much better. The picture deserves a better discourse than I'm giving it here, but I'm tired, and, well, if you want to read between the lines, then what I'm saying is: It deserves a better commentary but not enough to make me stay up and write it. Get it?

I bought the stuff to make a cherry pie. I got lazy though and bought a crust. I've always made my crusts. This being the first time I've bought one I didn't know they came in pairs. Can I mutilate one of them in a controlled fashion and use it for a lattice work?

Tomorrow, provided I'm not at work, we watch Spiderman on bluray.

jeffdixon @ 2009-06-30T22:12:00

2009-07-01T05:31:19Z

The trip to the beach was awesome. The trip to Austin was great, but too short.  We didn't have time to meet with many people. Erica and Thomas had a fantastic BBQ that got a number of people together. The house was full of kids.   Yowza, the Waterloo crew is getting older.

Jamming with Vince was cool. We mostly ran through a number of Beatles songs. I like the book he had. Tell me what it is. I might want to pick it up.    He's pretty good on the drums and he stays more practiced on the guitar than I do. I should jam more regularly but it gets boring alone.   We did record something. It was a simple riff that we just ran through a bunch of times. We laid down the vocals of what is basically the chorus. When he finishes putting the touches on the sound he's supposed to send it to me so I can put a vocal on it. Too bad we couldn't do it that night but it got late quick. I should have just sang anything. I'm not caught up on lyrics having to make sense but, when they are nonsense, I at least like for them to pretend to make sense. John Lennon and Gibby Haynes were good at that.

I got some video of my Grandmother playing the piano and singing. I'm really happy about that. My Dad was there. He knows his mother gets lonely, though he visits her often, several times a week at least. But she's 94 and virtually blind due to macular degeneration.  I was next to her when she played. I sang some with her and tried to play some ukulele with her when I could but I had trouble following the changes. She's a piano genuis. Can't see a thing but doesn't need to. She can play any old song if you give her a key.  Just start singing it and she will find the notes, no matter what key you start in. Dad told me that she had a look on her face of pure happiness when she was playing and singing with me. That makes me smile. I was right next to her and saw it too. She looked right into my eyes, which she might have been able to see at that close range, and sang "Barnacle Bill".

I have some pictures to arrange and some video footage to splice this weekend. I'm on call all weekend. Hopefully that means I won't have to take Thanksgiving or Xmas. We are hoping to come back to Austin for one of those holidays.

My Dad and Zack are visiting up here in July (the week after STP).

jeffdixon @ 2009-06-21T14:14:00

2009-06-21T21:46:05Z

I made it home from the Tour de Blast alive. My odometer measured 84 miles. That's my longest ride yet. But it wasn't the distance that was so hard, it was the 8000 feet of elevation over the entire course. We rode for a while on relatively flat, sort of rolling ground. Then we came to a nine mile hill. The top of this hill was Elk Rock Observation Point. This is where Joe's wife, Michelle, turned around. It marked a little over 25 miles in. Joe and I soon left for the next 15 miles. This started with a steep downhill into the valley followed by a steep uphill to Johnston Ridge Observatory. Each hill was roughly 7 miles with a little flat at the bottom. We got to the top and had a little solid food to supplement our protein powders, cliff bars, and electrolyte pills. Then began the arduous journey back.

First thing was getting back down into the valley. Sounds easy to sit on a bike and roll downhill doesn't it? Well, it isn't as easy as it seems, so I learned, a bit surprised. The wind was strong and it was blowing me sideways, making my bike wobble just a bit. I was holding onto the handlebars for life, literally.  One false move could actually spell d-e-a-t-h. Remember, there is automobile traffic on the road too. My top speed was 35mph, and I have to admit I tapped the brakes a little here and there. Now, I've gone 41mph before but that was down a short, very steep hill, and it only lasted a short time. I was sustaining these speeds in strong winds. It was all enough to make me nervous. In fact, my Pal Joey pulled over at one point and was checking his bike to make sure it was OK. The wind and wobble had him THAT worried. He's an ace rider, but the wind was making him question the integrity of his bike. Changing the position of my hands on the bars from the top ones to the drops was a precarious, one-hand-at-a-time affair. I didn't dare let go with even one hand. I just slid one hand at a time from one position to the other very carefully. The roads were curvy in some places as well, limiting visibility.

Once down in the valley the climb up and out began. 7 miles uphill after all this?  I've done 50 brutal miles already. No choice, had to push ahead. Slowly, (between 7 and 10mph) I pedaled out. Seemed to take forever. But finally I was at Elk Rock again. From there it was the nine mile hill down, which was a little less steep, a little more of a straight shot, and less windy, therefore, less nerve-wrecking. It was pretty darn fun.  Though I have to admit I was getting tired.

I found myself at the bottom, pedaling the last 10 miles, and looking too often at my odometer. I've been on 65 milers where it's mentioned that there are 15 miles left. I remark, "OK, let's get to it!" No great shakes. But this!  I looked at my odometer and was at mile 76. I cursed silently, "Fuck!  I should be at 80 by now!" Point is, on a normal ride, four miles of relatively flat terrain (which is what I was on now), would be a ride through the park. But this!  I soldiered on. At one point some hillbillies ran out into the road as I was passing by and tried to get us to stop and drink free beer with them. What the hell?

At the finish line there was a big pasta feed. I gorged on spaghetti and breadsticks.  Then we went back to the trailer and had Rocky Road. My pal Joey has a fancy trailer he takes to these things. It's pretty nice to get back to camp and have showers, plumbing, a stove, freezer, electricity, and a BED! That's camping in luxury, son. Although their dog farted something terrible, and all too frequently.

It took us 7 hours and 49 minutes to complete the ride. That's kind of a lot, but we took it easy, very easy, in the beginning. There was energy to conserve. Today, I feel ok. I probably wont go jogging, but then again, I have to pack.  There's my excuse. I bought one of the pictures they sell at the end.  Perche no? I bought Joe his picture too. It was the least I could do after staying it his trailer for two nights.

Tour de Blast

2009-06-20T02:18:58Z

I'm going to eat a sandwich and leave for Mt. St. Helen's in a few minutes. Tomorrow morning is the Tour de Blast. We'll see if I make it. I've never done anything this grueling before.

I have some electrolyte blocks and protein powder. Water of course.

If I survive, they give us spaghetti, unless we opt for something else.

See ya, maybe.

jeffdixon @ 2009-06-15T08:44:00

2009-06-15T16:02:08Z

We went and saw UP. Leslie had already seen it in Florida while she was visiting her mother and some friends. She liked it so much she wanted me to see it and wanted to go with me. We saw it in 3D. I have to admit the 3D looked pretty good. Much better than Superman did in 2006. I imagine the fact that UP is animated might have had something to do with that. But I don't know. A work pal told me the 3D movies he has seen lately looked pretty good. I think he saw My Bloody Valentine and something else. I don't think that was animated.

The movie was darn good. What was the last children's movie that starred a senior citizen? There were some kids in the theatre and when the old man was sitting and coming to his big realization, you know, the moral, the theatre was quiet, the soundtrack was quiet. It's the big dramatic moment in the feature. A kid, maybe 3-4 years old, hollared out, "Where's the dog?" Made me chuckle.

Leslie has been wanting Spiderman on bluray but they only sell part 3 by itself. We've never seen it and don't have much interest, certainly not in buying it. But I was looking on Amazon last night and the trilogy was 50 bucks. Hell, when they finally release them by theirselves they will be 25 bucks apiece at least. They'll drop after a while but for now it doesn't get much better than that. So I bought them. The only criticism is there are no extras. We don't care. While I was at it I bought another one I really enjoyed, Bolt.

Tape was scotched

2009-06-10T04:41:16Z

A scotch tape dispenser at work was empty. I picked it up and exclaimed, "Now I've heard of transparent tape before but this..."

I started trying to pull invisible tape from the thing. "This is ridiculous. I can't even FEEL it!"

Some people laughed.